Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Sorry, No Pets

but they're all fixed!
we really need a place to live.
I'll pay extra, just please...
whaddya mean, you hate cats and you're a filthy communist?
sorry, sorry.
just listen.
they're sweet and furry and good.
if they piss on your carpets I'll eat my hat.
so, look.
look here.
just turn a blind eye, I'll keep up the yard, shingle the roof.
whatever you need, I'm your man!
ooooh, fuck, I swear to God,
these cats that I have are unlike every other cat you've ever met.
why do you hate me?
what do you want I should do?
put 'em in a burlap sack and drown them?
you and I, we're business men, right?
we don't know from cats.
but lemme tell ya right now, buddy,
they're made of gold, these cats!
you could pr'olly even have one.
it's the dumb one, I know it,
but she's worth her weight in gold and she's the fattest one of them all!
here's my number.
that's all I'm saying.
we could work something out, you and I.

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