Cough

laugh

though

ought

thought

through

rough

tough

Shit Hear.

oh my dear lord this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I can't seem to find anybody else

that's going through what I'm going through

forgive me if I grab you and drag you

into a conversation

about a film

or whatever you're drinking

you can be depressed

be happy, for God's sake

I don't care

you can't leave me alone like this

please.

you can see this too, right?

the Japanese have really tapped into something here...

I mean,

fuck cinema, you stupid heathen.

balls.

balls to you, balls to your entire family down to the third generation.

weight.

wait, you selfish son of a syphilitic whore

Jesus Balls Christ

get over here

fine.

I'll just sit here.

Hello, son.

staring up at me with those big, black weirdling eyes
all full of tubes and wires and things
I get to wondering what you must think of all this
70 strange women looking after you and visiting hours
twice daily
just brand new in the world and already locked up
if you could talk or shout, even, what would you say?
we feed your milk into a machine, take it to your machine
and another machine feeds it to you
and I am becoming not unlike a machine
and your mother is, too
we don't know anybody who has to do this
sometimes I like to think you're so powerful
that they had to put you in that machine to keep the world safe

Sorry, No Pets

but they're all fixed!
we really need a place to live.
I'll pay extra, just please...
whaddya mean, you hate cats and you're a filthy communist?
sorry, sorry.
just listen.
they're sweet and furry and good.
if they piss on your carpets I'll eat my hat.
so, look.
look here.
just turn a blind eye, I'll keep up the yard, shingle the roof.
whatever you need, I'm your man!
ooooh, fuck, I swear to God,
these cats that I have are unlike every other cat you've ever met.
why do you hate me?
what do you want I should do?
put 'em in a burlap sack and drown them?
you and I, we're business men, right?
we don't know from cats.
but lemme tell ya right now, buddy,
they're made of gold, these cats!
you could pr'olly even have one.
it's the dumb one, I know it,
but she's worth her weight in gold and she's the fattest one of them all!
here's my number.
that's all I'm saying.
we could work something out, you and I.