Cough

laugh

though

ought

thought

through

rough

tough

Shit Hear.

oh my dear lord this is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I can't seem to find anybody else

that's going through what I'm going through

forgive me if I grab you and drag you

into a conversation

about a film

or whatever you're drinking

you can be depressed

be happy, for God's sake

I don't care

you can't leave me alone like this

please.

you can see this too, right?

the Japanese have really tapped into something here...

I mean,

fuck cinema, you stupid heathen.

balls.

balls to you, balls to your entire family down to the third generation.

weight.

wait, you selfish son of a syphilitic whore

Jesus Balls Christ

get over here

fine.

I'll just sit here.

Hello, son.

staring up at me with those big, black weirdling eyes
all full of tubes and wires and things
I get to wondering what you must think of all this
70 strange women looking after you and visiting hours
twice daily
just brand new in the world and already locked up
if you could talk or shout, even, what would you say?
we feed your milk into a machine, take it to your machine
and another machine feeds it to you
and I am becoming not unlike a machine
and your mother is, too
we don't know anybody who has to do this
sometimes I like to think you're so powerful
that they had to put you in that machine to keep the world safe

Sorry, No Pets

but they're all fixed!
we really need a place to live.
I'll pay extra, just please...
whaddya mean, you hate cats and you're a filthy communist?
sorry, sorry.
just listen.
they're sweet and furry and good.
if they piss on your carpets I'll eat my hat.
so, look.
look here.
just turn a blind eye, I'll keep up the yard, shingle the roof.
whatever you need, I'm your man!
ooooh, fuck, I swear to God,
these cats that I have are unlike every other cat you've ever met.
why do you hate me?
what do you want I should do?
put 'em in a burlap sack and drown them?
you and I, we're business men, right?
we don't know from cats.
but lemme tell ya right now, buddy,
they're made of gold, these cats!
you could pr'olly even have one.
it's the dumb one, I know it,
but she's worth her weight in gold and she's the fattest one of them all!
here's my number.
that's all I'm saying.
we could work something out, you and I.

Fear.

How are we going to do this?

Is he going to be okay?

Is she?

What if anything,

Got a whole sack of what ifs.

Everybody's telling me I look like shit.

I mean, I feel like shit...

But I've looked way worse and nobody's said a thing.

Our son is trapped in a box of clicks and beeps and my wife can't stop bleeding.

Money'll get tight pretty soon, and the rent's going up.

I'm not scared, exactly

Longest Week In 8 Lines Or Less

hospitals are ugly
they serve ugly food
make people seem ugly
and I am ugly too

then it was beautiful
and they were all angels
even the dying seemed bright
they brought my son and saved my wife

Hey God!

you dirty fucker.
I see you up there.
you owe me at least one, you know.
get us through this latest of your tests.
I swear to God, you rotten son of a bitch,
if you don't intervene here I'm coming up there
and tear you a new one.
she doesn't deserve this and neither does our son.
so if you don't want to be looking over your holy shoulder
for eternity you'd better get off your fat divine ass
and do something.
I don't much care if you look out for me, you know that.
but this isn't about me.
show me you're still there.
don't make me come looking for you.

Oral And Intravenous Sedition

Listen,

Listen I just need a rest

I know you're probably tired, too

My skin is disolving

And my brain is flying apart

Please, you must know some dark quiet place

I'll give you all my money

Look, look

Just let me curl up in here for a while

I won't take up much space and I'm quiet

I can be quiet

Pass The Port

obey the forms

gitcher kids outta here

come early and stay late

and for god's sake you're buying this time

get in line to pay too much

bathroom's over there

what was this about?

Me and Dawn Buildings

We creak and smoke and reflect poorly all covered in frost

Things come in the front door and go out the back

If we're standing far enough apart we're the same size

I've got things roosting and shitting under my eaves too

We look filthy at street level and better from the air

Full of ideas running from floor to floor door to door

Wallet Haiku

Big fat sweaty lump

Made of plastic and cow flesh

Stuck to my ass cheek

_nice things_

I love you, you know

everything about you

I love your body

my body loves your body so much it sparks and sizzles

you talk to me like I'm real even when I'm not

you're changing our life and letting me come with you

you smell like heaven all the time

and you're a child-goddess in the morning all warm and sleepy

you're stronger than me and I love that

but you don't take advantage

you should know how I do feel so much about the way you are

fuck like a demon, you do, if I can say that

and your voice is kind and good

I appreciate that you listen to my nonsense

that you laugh at my dumb jokes

you're brave when I am fearful and confident when I'm unsure

smart as a whip but you don't make me feel stupid

and I'll chase you and tickle you and bite you

I love you, you know

reprogram

I'm so fucking tired


I'm more tired than you, you fucker


I'm so goddam tired I don't know what I'm gonna do


probably nothing


maybe anything


change up your shit when you're not even paying attention


not take credit for it


I probably won't even remember


but I'll keep you up all fucking night just the same


listen


listen you bastards


somebody listen to me


fine I'll just listen to myself


my eyes are watering


but I'll soldier on

that olive hung off the fork, glaring at me with its pimento eye

she'd gotten up to go to the bathroom and seemed to be taking an awfully long time

bipolar mania was touching my soul

she knew what she wanted but she just didn't know how to go about about getting it

wasn't really looking for any kind of excuse

just blurted it out

the pharmaceutical ads are so detailed and frightening these days

maybe we didn't know each other like we thought we did

it'll skip a generation again

she's having another shower, second one in an hour and I wonder if I said something dirty

I

went out without my woman last night
told dumb jokes to strangers
watched people get drunk
get happy
get mad
watched people try
watched people fail
got drunk myself, actually
sang karaoke at the gay bar
told more strangers the same joke
nobody got hurt, nobody died
pissed on a power transformer but nothing happened
tried to convince people to come up to the house again
they politely declined again
it's nice to get out sometimes, on your own.

224 and Counting

getting fat.

61 lbs. heavier than I was 3yrs ago.
people say, "No... really? Well, you carry it well!"
but I can feel my thighs rubbing together.

this young woman, Catherine maybe?
I've been staring at her for about 3yrs now.
she's beautiful in every way I like a woman to be.

a dancer, she dances at the bar, dances on the street.
she shakes those hips and I go all wobbly inside.
can't be more than 21...

we always have these long, free smiles when we pass.
I tell myself she knows I'm checking her out,
that maybe she even likes it the way she smiles back.

wears these short, striped skirts over her jeans and hypnotizes me.
got drunk one night and told her friend I thought she was amazing.
she still smiles at me, in that sly kind of way.

but now I suck my gut in when I see her.

Help

My life is changing faster than I can deal

don't laugh, I'm cereal

Serial

Serious

Fer real

Fucking hell

walls are closing in

how much input can a man in my peculiar situation reasonably be expected to process?

I don't smell burnt toast yet

but that's no excuse to pile it on

I'm trying to keep up

keep my head above the water

gotta tricklesplill out over embankments and causeways

i write from home, now

not in the bar

on the bus

running through the woods


drag it behind all vestigial

store it till laden

reprocess

and filter


can't often find the space

wish i had a den

wish i had a goddam car

i'd write in that

Righting

Here is a window
This is something I want to share with you
I submit my most vulnerable
Not scared to do it
Don't want anything for it
Don't want judgement
Don't need understanding
Don't seem to even fuckin care
Just this and that's why it's pure and unassailable

Winter Makes Writing?

Snow's falling hard and I'm getting fat

Alternating currents of tension and laziness

Feels like the writing's coming back

But it could just be hysterical creativity

I'll refract off the ice crystals in the air

Lap the building barefoot so I know I'm still young